Monday, October 10, 2011
All packed up and ready to go...
Well, we did it. Many thanks to my Mom and Dad and my friend Mark for helping us get all of our house (for the most part) into our 16 ft Penske! Updates to follow.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
THE ROAD TO SEATTLE
I have spent the last week and a half working on how to convey what is going on in our lives and how in the world we ended up on this journey to Seattle. I sat down and began to write in as much detail, the grandiose story of the last three years and it began to turn into a very long story. What I plan on doing is breaking it down into a couple of blog posts because I do desire to share in more detail my journey over these last three years. Stay tuned for more on “How a trail of tears led to a road to Seattle.”
Sometimes plans change. That is probably the biggest understatement for our family right now. For the past year or so, Brooke and I, along with my Mom and Dad, have been in the process of trying to sell our homes and move back to the great Tarheel State of North Carolina. As many of you know, it was music that brought our family here almost 9 years ago when my band, The Swift, got signed to a real record deal. We toured all over the country and had a blast. Over time, I felt the pull to come off the road so that Brooke and I could concentrate on having a family. Shortly after, Britain came along and life has never been the same! About 3 years had passed and Brooke and I (still involved/employed by the music industry) began to pray about the possibility of me going back to school to pursue getting my Masters in Counseling. So, in “faith” I left my comfy job at a booking agency and began to prepare myself for the possibility of attending Grad School that fall. We had no clue that our life was about to drastically change, and our faith put to the test.
About the same time that I left my job, we began to feel called to adopt. Without knowing which way to go, or how to get there, we just started to call agencies and ask questions. If you know me well, you know that I have always had a love and passion for the Native American culture. For two years in college, I even majored in American Indian Studies. That passion really crossed paths with our desire to adopt. It definitely gave us direction. Little did we know, that it was extremely hard for a wacicu family (Lakota for White) to adopt a Native child. Feel free to read my much older posts below that describe that process. Needless to say, it was the hardest thing that my family and I have been through. Part of our story in adopting Wakinyan is that we had him for about 4 months and we lost him. The circumstances of our private adoption changed and we had to give him back to his birth parents. I hope that I never have to experience the death of one of my kids, but losing baby Thunder was like a death to our family.
Losing my son rocked me to the core. I began to not just question God, but I began to question God’s goodness, His character, and His existence. Soon, I began to hate God and had no desire to pursue what He wanted in my life. You can imagine what this process did to our family, and what it was doing to our marriage. Fortunately, through divine intervention, Wakinyan came home to us. Almost a year ago, our 2-year battle to adopt him was made official. Wakinyan was officially a Byers! Despite the great news, I was still on a path where I had no desire to listen to what God wanted for my life. In my own wisdom, I decided to have nothing to do with God anymore (personally or professionally) and bagged the dream of Graduate school and counseling. While sitting on the throne, I made a quick search through the Sunday paper classifieds to find my future career. In retrospect, I find it extremely entertaining that my own wisdom involved me making life-changing decisions while sitting on the throne! Have I set the bar low enough on the value of my own wisdom? COMCAST. There it was. I can do that. I can get that job, no problem.
Almost two and a half years later, I found myself extremely miserable. Imagine that. I was working at Comcast Cable as a bona fide cable guy. Thankfully, during this season of my life, God blessed me with some of the best friends that I have ever had. Around the middle of July 2011, I began to wrestle with where I was in life and ask questions like , “God, why hasn’t our house sold yet?” Like I said before, our family, along with Mom and Dad, had decided that we would sell our homes and move back to NC. Brooke and I were out of the music business, which is what brought us to Nashville, and we missed home. We had no clue what we would do in NC, but thought we could be equally “lost and without vision for our family” closer to family and living close to the beach! We had our sights set on Wilmington!
After a powerful message at church Saturday July 9th, I began to believe again that God wasn’t done with me. That night, I came home and shared with Brooke that I felt like God wanted me to leave Comcast. Brooke emphatically responded, “It’s about time! I’ve been waiting 2 ½ years for you to say that!” Thankfully, Brooke hadn’t given up on me either. On Tuesday, July 12th, 2011 with notice in hand, I sat down to share with my boss (Matt) that it was time for me to move on from Comcast. Matt was also a ray of light in my life that God had provided me. Matt encouraged me in my faith through my 2½ year stint at Comcast and was an amazing supervisor.
I had come to the conclusion that my story was very similar to that of Jonah. I knew that a long time ago, in a Galaxy far far away, (Cue Star Wars music) God had called me to something specific. Knowing that, I still ran in the opposite direction. Fearful, angry, and bitter I chose not to follow God. Thankful for grace, and a whole lot of real world growing up, I was finally at a place where I could make the decision to step out in faith, and trust God despite my questions and fears. I had no clue where God was leading; I just knew that I wasn’t where I belonged.
A week after giving my notice, I went on a backpacking trip. One of the nights, I was able to spend a night on the trail with a great friend of mine, Ethan Beyer. It was exciting to share with Ethan what God had been doing in my life that week and that we were on a new road to something, we just didn’t know what. The next day, I said goodbye to Ethan, as he had to return home to Knoxville. I then decided to hit a different trail, this time solo, or so I thought. Stay tuned for more about my time on the trail…
On August 5th, 2011, Brooke and I celebrated our 11th wedding Anniversary. To celebrate, we went to dinner at Outback and were scheduled to see a movie (a chick flick I’m sure). In 11 years of marriage, we had never been to a dinner that was as life changing as this. Brooke Byers should have been a focus of Homeland Security for the Bomb that she was about to set off at our table. Shortly after we ordered our food, and exchanged gifts, I sat back and could tell that something was on her mind. After inquiring, I was surely not prepared for what was about to come out of her mouth.
Brooke shared that she had made a few phone calls that day. One of which was to the Graduate School in Seattle where I had always dreamed of going. Brooke shared with the admissions counselor some of my (our) story and intrigued to some degree, they suggested that I apply to the program. Not only did they want me to apply, they shared that I still had time to enroll for the fall 2011 semester (which would be starting on Aug 29th!). Completely shocked at what she shared, I instantly fired back with the impossibilities. One by one, Brooke shot them down. One of the hurdles, outside of the 2500 mile move for our family of 4 (plus our dog), was that I would have to take the MAT, which is a Graduate level entrance exam. No worries, she made that call to, and there was a MAT exam that I could take 4 days later. With nothing left to argue, at the end of the night, I at least committed to taking the MAT and see where that would lead us. With NO preparation, I took the exam and passed!!! My score was enough to meet the requirements for the school. My next hurdle was to apply to the school which involved writing two lengthy essays and filling out an extensive application. One by one, the hurdles fell. I received a phone call 1 week after our bomb date at Outback. The young lady said, “Mr. Byers, I would like to congratulate you on your acceptance to The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.” My heart dropped as I heard the news. I was shocked!
With a lot of details to work out, with the sell of our home, the kids’ school, jobs, etc.…we were not able to get to Seattle by the beginning of the fall semester. We were really disappointed that we couldn’t make the move so quickly. Still, I sat back and felt relieved. I would now have a year to prepare myself for Graduate School and ease back into the scholastic realm. Lets be honest, it had been 12 years since I graduated from college, and rarely do Cable guys go from climbing 30 foot telephone poles, to Graduate level classrooms.
Here we are, just a little more than a month after Brooke illegally brought her dirty bomb into the Cool Springs Outback, in the process of boxing up our home to make this move. Through a series of events over the last week, we have decided to make our pilgrimage to the Great Pacific Northwest in 2 weeks. There are still lots of details to figure out. At this moment, we have to be out of our home by October 9th, as we have renters moving in on the 10th. We have yet to find a place to live in Seattle. This also means that we have yet to figure out what school the kids will attend. Despite all the details that are up in the air, we have this insane peace about the adventure that lies ahead. It’s the first time in 3 years, that we’ve all been on the same page, excited together for our future. I’m sure this move will not make sense to many, but that’s ok. We appreciate your prayers for our family as we make this transition. This trip is going to cost us a lot of money and we just trust the One who “called us” to Seattle to provide. If you’re interested in being a financial supporter to the Byers Tribe Moves to Seattle Campaign, you can donate $1.99 or more to our travel fund through PayPal via the email tarheelfj40@gmail.com or you can email the same address for a mailing address.
Thank you so much for your interest in our story. Please stay tuned for more snapshots of the journey prior and the journey to come!
Sometimes plans change. That is probably the biggest understatement for our family right now. For the past year or so, Brooke and I, along with my Mom and Dad, have been in the process of trying to sell our homes and move back to the great Tarheel State of North Carolina. As many of you know, it was music that brought our family here almost 9 years ago when my band, The Swift, got signed to a real record deal. We toured all over the country and had a blast. Over time, I felt the pull to come off the road so that Brooke and I could concentrate on having a family. Shortly after, Britain came along and life has never been the same! About 3 years had passed and Brooke and I (still involved/employed by the music industry) began to pray about the possibility of me going back to school to pursue getting my Masters in Counseling. So, in “faith” I left my comfy job at a booking agency and began to prepare myself for the possibility of attending Grad School that fall. We had no clue that our life was about to drastically change, and our faith put to the test.
About the same time that I left my job, we began to feel called to adopt. Without knowing which way to go, or how to get there, we just started to call agencies and ask questions. If you know me well, you know that I have always had a love and passion for the Native American culture. For two years in college, I even majored in American Indian Studies. That passion really crossed paths with our desire to adopt. It definitely gave us direction. Little did we know, that it was extremely hard for a wacicu family (Lakota for White) to adopt a Native child. Feel free to read my much older posts below that describe that process. Needless to say, it was the hardest thing that my family and I have been through. Part of our story in adopting Wakinyan is that we had him for about 4 months and we lost him. The circumstances of our private adoption changed and we had to give him back to his birth parents. I hope that I never have to experience the death of one of my kids, but losing baby Thunder was like a death to our family.
Losing my son rocked me to the core. I began to not just question God, but I began to question God’s goodness, His character, and His existence. Soon, I began to hate God and had no desire to pursue what He wanted in my life. You can imagine what this process did to our family, and what it was doing to our marriage. Fortunately, through divine intervention, Wakinyan came home to us. Almost a year ago, our 2-year battle to adopt him was made official. Wakinyan was officially a Byers! Despite the great news, I was still on a path where I had no desire to listen to what God wanted for my life. In my own wisdom, I decided to have nothing to do with God anymore (personally or professionally) and bagged the dream of Graduate school and counseling. While sitting on the throne, I made a quick search through the Sunday paper classifieds to find my future career. In retrospect, I find it extremely entertaining that my own wisdom involved me making life-changing decisions while sitting on the throne! Have I set the bar low enough on the value of my own wisdom? COMCAST. There it was. I can do that. I can get that job, no problem.
Almost two and a half years later, I found myself extremely miserable. Imagine that. I was working at Comcast Cable as a bona fide cable guy. Thankfully, during this season of my life, God blessed me with some of the best friends that I have ever had. Around the middle of July 2011, I began to wrestle with where I was in life and ask questions like , “God, why hasn’t our house sold yet?” Like I said before, our family, along with Mom and Dad, had decided that we would sell our homes and move back to NC. Brooke and I were out of the music business, which is what brought us to Nashville, and we missed home. We had no clue what we would do in NC, but thought we could be equally “lost and without vision for our family” closer to family and living close to the beach! We had our sights set on Wilmington!
After a powerful message at church Saturday July 9th, I began to believe again that God wasn’t done with me. That night, I came home and shared with Brooke that I felt like God wanted me to leave Comcast. Brooke emphatically responded, “It’s about time! I’ve been waiting 2 ½ years for you to say that!” Thankfully, Brooke hadn’t given up on me either. On Tuesday, July 12th, 2011 with notice in hand, I sat down to share with my boss (Matt) that it was time for me to move on from Comcast. Matt was also a ray of light in my life that God had provided me. Matt encouraged me in my faith through my 2½ year stint at Comcast and was an amazing supervisor.
I had come to the conclusion that my story was very similar to that of Jonah. I knew that a long time ago, in a Galaxy far far away, (Cue Star Wars music) God had called me to something specific. Knowing that, I still ran in the opposite direction. Fearful, angry, and bitter I chose not to follow God. Thankful for grace, and a whole lot of real world growing up, I was finally at a place where I could make the decision to step out in faith, and trust God despite my questions and fears. I had no clue where God was leading; I just knew that I wasn’t where I belonged.
A week after giving my notice, I went on a backpacking trip. One of the nights, I was able to spend a night on the trail with a great friend of mine, Ethan Beyer. It was exciting to share with Ethan what God had been doing in my life that week and that we were on a new road to something, we just didn’t know what. The next day, I said goodbye to Ethan, as he had to return home to Knoxville. I then decided to hit a different trail, this time solo, or so I thought. Stay tuned for more about my time on the trail…
On August 5th, 2011, Brooke and I celebrated our 11th wedding Anniversary. To celebrate, we went to dinner at Outback and were scheduled to see a movie (a chick flick I’m sure). In 11 years of marriage, we had never been to a dinner that was as life changing as this. Brooke Byers should have been a focus of Homeland Security for the Bomb that she was about to set off at our table. Shortly after we ordered our food, and exchanged gifts, I sat back and could tell that something was on her mind. After inquiring, I was surely not prepared for what was about to come out of her mouth.
Brooke shared that she had made a few phone calls that day. One of which was to the Graduate School in Seattle where I had always dreamed of going. Brooke shared with the admissions counselor some of my (our) story and intrigued to some degree, they suggested that I apply to the program. Not only did they want me to apply, they shared that I still had time to enroll for the fall 2011 semester (which would be starting on Aug 29th!). Completely shocked at what she shared, I instantly fired back with the impossibilities. One by one, Brooke shot them down. One of the hurdles, outside of the 2500 mile move for our family of 4 (plus our dog), was that I would have to take the MAT, which is a Graduate level entrance exam. No worries, she made that call to, and there was a MAT exam that I could take 4 days later. With nothing left to argue, at the end of the night, I at least committed to taking the MAT and see where that would lead us. With NO preparation, I took the exam and passed!!! My score was enough to meet the requirements for the school. My next hurdle was to apply to the school which involved writing two lengthy essays and filling out an extensive application. One by one, the hurdles fell. I received a phone call 1 week after our bomb date at Outback. The young lady said, “Mr. Byers, I would like to congratulate you on your acceptance to The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.” My heart dropped as I heard the news. I was shocked!
With a lot of details to work out, with the sell of our home, the kids’ school, jobs, etc.…we were not able to get to Seattle by the beginning of the fall semester. We were really disappointed that we couldn’t make the move so quickly. Still, I sat back and felt relieved. I would now have a year to prepare myself for Graduate School and ease back into the scholastic realm. Lets be honest, it had been 12 years since I graduated from college, and rarely do Cable guys go from climbing 30 foot telephone poles, to Graduate level classrooms.
Here we are, just a little more than a month after Brooke illegally brought her dirty bomb into the Cool Springs Outback, in the process of boxing up our home to make this move. Through a series of events over the last week, we have decided to make our pilgrimage to the Great Pacific Northwest in 2 weeks. There are still lots of details to figure out. At this moment, we have to be out of our home by October 9th, as we have renters moving in on the 10th. We have yet to find a place to live in Seattle. This also means that we have yet to figure out what school the kids will attend. Despite all the details that are up in the air, we have this insane peace about the adventure that lies ahead. It’s the first time in 3 years, that we’ve all been on the same page, excited together for our future. I’m sure this move will not make sense to many, but that’s ok. We appreciate your prayers for our family as we make this transition. This trip is going to cost us a lot of money and we just trust the One who “called us” to Seattle to provide. If you’re interested in being a financial supporter to the Byers Tribe Moves to Seattle Campaign, you can donate $1.99 or more to our travel fund through PayPal via the email tarheelfj40@gmail.com or you can email the same address for a mailing address.
Thank you so much for your interest in our story. Please stay tuned for more snapshots of the journey prior and the journey to come!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Stay tuned for a new Byers update...
So excited to share what God has been doing in our life the past few months. Stay tuned to hear how a trail of tears led to a road to Seattle....
Old Tune Brought New Life
And I, can't seem to understand, the reason why I'm hurting
Was this part of your plan and is it going to end.
I've been running for so long and the sky is getting darker
Looking for a place where I can stand until it...
Grasses greener on the other side, where I don't belong.
Somtimes its lonely but ill stand until I see your face again.
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
And I believe you when you say your eye is on the sparrow
I know your watching me, I know you set me free
From all the fear that used to hold me down, a better way I've found.
Its time to heal a time to grow into the child you used to know
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
And I don't know where were going but I don't care about that,
Because I feel your hand in mine
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
Writers: BUSH, BENJAMIN A/WALKER, JEFFREY LEON
Was this part of your plan and is it going to end.
I've been running for so long and the sky is getting darker
Looking for a place where I can stand until it...
Grasses greener on the other side, where I don't belong.
Somtimes its lonely but ill stand until I see your face again.
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
And I believe you when you say your eye is on the sparrow
I know your watching me, I know you set me free
From all the fear that used to hold me down, a better way I've found.
Its time to heal a time to grow into the child you used to know
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
And I don't know where were going but I don't care about that,
Because I feel your hand in mine
You are the one who brings the rain that falls to wash away my pain, and
In that darkness I can see, a light of hope alive in me.
Writers: BUSH, BENJAMIN A/WALKER, JEFFREY LEON
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I should write something...
Not sure that I have much to say, or feel like I can say what I feel...but please know that there is a desire in me to write and be transparent. New blog is on its way soon...
Monday, March 30, 2009
It's a start...
Ok, I know that it has been a very long time since many of you heard from me last. What you don't know, is that I have sat down in front of this very screen over a dozen times over the past three to four months to write what is on my heart and "bare all" to what I am feeling or going through. Even now as I type, my hands are shaking (more than usual for those of you who really know me) and I confess my fear. I am afraid of you knowing how I have felt or better yet, how I am still feeling. The truth is, many of you (to my own fault) don't know the real Chris Byers. Honestly, I am not sure that I even know who I am. For a long time, I was anxious to know, but the more that I have been honest about where I am at, the more I have scared myself. I am afraid of your judgement the most, and I don't know where that comes from.
If you are hoping for me to continue, I do apologize that won't happen tonight. I want for that time to come, but I am just not ready. I have felt like a tool in that so many of you have been so amazing to my family and I to love and pray for us during this tough season of our lives. I have so wanted to come to this blog and write the perfect post, that would capture where I am, where we are, and what has been going on since Thunder left our family. I have no clue where that comes from either. However, I will do my best to give you an update on Thunder, which is what most of you have been thirsty for anyway. (sorry for the babbling)
On Tuesday March 23rd, just 6 days before our little princess Brit turned 4 years old, what I thought would never happen came true. Not sure that I would ever admit to loving elements of a storm, but it was an amazing gift to know that Thunder was in our forecast! What a long day. I thought for sure that the 6pm would never come that day. If I am honest with you, my biggest fear was that Thunder wouldn't remember us...and if I was really honest, I was scared that he wouldn't remember me. I have felt so much guilt of letting him go, cause I knew somewhere in my mind that things wouldn't end up well for him.
I will do my best to continue to cover Thunder's biological parents with as much respect as I can muster. Sadly, they made some choices that led to the State Social Services stepping in and removing Thunder from their care. I HATE what he has seen and been through in the 19 months of his life. I love him so much and I can't believe that we have been given another chance to be his mommy, daddy, sister (Brit is so happy that her only prayer over the last couple of months has come true...my baby brother has come home), and furry brother to Thunder again.
We are walking through the process of Fostering Thunder through the state. The people that gave birth to Thunder (I hate saying parents, cause I believe we are his family!! ok, I am a little biassed, can you blame me?) have 3 months to get their act together and have the chance to once again, take Thunder back into their care. It has been so amazing to see and feel the support from the rest of the Thunder's family and close friends that we are his family and that this is where he belongs. This is such a scary process for us, and I am so afraid to lose him again. I know the churchy thing to say is to fear not, or to have faith, but at this place, I can't deny what is true, I am dreadfully scared to lose my Son again!
At the end of the 3 month process, if the biologicals are unable to get their "act" together, then the process to terminate the parental rights will begin with the state. Notice I said begin. It will take much longer than that, and we will not be completely out of the dark. We still have a HUGE wall to face if and when the parental rights are terminated. The wall known as The Tribe. Since Thunder is Native American, and we're not, under the Indian Child Welfare Act, we are not the "best" fit for him. I want so much to teach Thunder about his heritage and to give him the chance to who he wants to be. My dream for him is that he could one day return to his people and make a difference...to make a difference that I once was so passionate about, but too much of a coward to fight for. I am so sad to know that he could be taken from us or any family for that matter who would love and care for him like he was our own biological child just because we are not Native enough.
If you are the praying type, you can pray specifically for a lady that I will call EAGLE. She has a lot of say in our case and even other families who are encountering similar obstacles that we are. I know that history speaks for itself. Sadly, many Native children's locks were chopped off, moccasins and regalia taken away, and forced those children to be something that they were not. A white Christian. I have no desire to do that to my son. I want him to know who he is, and give him the same choice that I was given, to accept or reject Christ. The only thing that I can guarantee EAGLE is that we will love Thunder with all of our hearts, and do our best to give him the opportunity to be who he was born to be. If that is to be the next Sitting Bull or the next Tyler Hansbrough, it will be Thunder's choice to make that decision.
We have a long a scary road ahead, but we are thankful that our Son is home. We will cherish every moment and hope for another! He is doing so amazing! He has been sleeping well, eating well, and has been super mobile! When he was with us before, he wasn't walking, and now with his newfound mobility, it has been fun to see what he gets himself into. We love him more than you know. He has changed our lives so much and has had such a profound impact on our story. I will never be the same because of him. Thank you so much for your interest in our story. Your love, support, and prayers have been pillars for us to lean on when to be honest, it was much easier to give up. I am thankful for my wife and her courage and faith during this time. I wish I had a 1/8 of her faith an hope!
I will do my best to make more updates about this process, so check back every once and a while...
If you are hoping for me to continue, I do apologize that won't happen tonight. I want for that time to come, but I am just not ready. I have felt like a tool in that so many of you have been so amazing to my family and I to love and pray for us during this tough season of our lives. I have so wanted to come to this blog and write the perfect post, that would capture where I am, where we are, and what has been going on since Thunder left our family. I have no clue where that comes from either. However, I will do my best to give you an update on Thunder, which is what most of you have been thirsty for anyway. (sorry for the babbling)
On Tuesday March 23rd, just 6 days before our little princess Brit turned 4 years old, what I thought would never happen came true. Not sure that I would ever admit to loving elements of a storm, but it was an amazing gift to know that Thunder was in our forecast! What a long day. I thought for sure that the 6pm would never come that day. If I am honest with you, my biggest fear was that Thunder wouldn't remember us...and if I was really honest, I was scared that he wouldn't remember me. I have felt so much guilt of letting him go, cause I knew somewhere in my mind that things wouldn't end up well for him.
I will do my best to continue to cover Thunder's biological parents with as much respect as I can muster. Sadly, they made some choices that led to the State Social Services stepping in and removing Thunder from their care. I HATE what he has seen and been through in the 19 months of his life. I love him so much and I can't believe that we have been given another chance to be his mommy, daddy, sister (Brit is so happy that her only prayer over the last couple of months has come true...my baby brother has come home), and furry brother to Thunder again.
We are walking through the process of Fostering Thunder through the state. The people that gave birth to Thunder (I hate saying parents, cause I believe we are his family!! ok, I am a little biassed, can you blame me?) have 3 months to get their act together and have the chance to once again, take Thunder back into their care. It has been so amazing to see and feel the support from the rest of the Thunder's family and close friends that we are his family and that this is where he belongs. This is such a scary process for us, and I am so afraid to lose him again. I know the churchy thing to say is to fear not, or to have faith, but at this place, I can't deny what is true, I am dreadfully scared to lose my Son again!
At the end of the 3 month process, if the biologicals are unable to get their "act" together, then the process to terminate the parental rights will begin with the state. Notice I said begin. It will take much longer than that, and we will not be completely out of the dark. We still have a HUGE wall to face if and when the parental rights are terminated. The wall known as The Tribe. Since Thunder is Native American, and we're not, under the Indian Child Welfare Act, we are not the "best" fit for him. I want so much to teach Thunder about his heritage and to give him the chance to who he wants to be. My dream for him is that he could one day return to his people and make a difference...to make a difference that I once was so passionate about, but too much of a coward to fight for. I am so sad to know that he could be taken from us or any family for that matter who would love and care for him like he was our own biological child just because we are not Native enough.
If you are the praying type, you can pray specifically for a lady that I will call EAGLE. She has a lot of say in our case and even other families who are encountering similar obstacles that we are. I know that history speaks for itself. Sadly, many Native children's locks were chopped off, moccasins and regalia taken away, and forced those children to be something that they were not. A white Christian. I have no desire to do that to my son. I want him to know who he is, and give him the same choice that I was given, to accept or reject Christ. The only thing that I can guarantee EAGLE is that we will love Thunder with all of our hearts, and do our best to give him the opportunity to be who he was born to be. If that is to be the next Sitting Bull or the next Tyler Hansbrough, it will be Thunder's choice to make that decision.
We have a long a scary road ahead, but we are thankful that our Son is home. We will cherish every moment and hope for another! He is doing so amazing! He has been sleeping well, eating well, and has been super mobile! When he was with us before, he wasn't walking, and now with his newfound mobility, it has been fun to see what he gets himself into. We love him more than you know. He has changed our lives so much and has had such a profound impact on our story. I will never be the same because of him. Thank you so much for your interest in our story. Your love, support, and prayers have been pillars for us to lean on when to be honest, it was much easier to give up. I am thankful for my wife and her courage and faith during this time. I wish I had a 1/8 of her faith an hope!
I will do my best to make more updates about this process, so check back every once and a while...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Seventy Six (76)
For seventy six days, our family has had the honor to love a stranger like he was our own. I remember a time where I really struggled to think that I would have to divide my love for another child. Brit has been the biggest blessing that i could ever imagine for our family. How in the world could I love another child half as much as I love her. They say that "you just do." They are unfortunately right. While baby Thunder wasn't a conceived by Brooke and I, it sure felt like he was my son. He is such a precious boy and I (we) hate to see him go. I have no clue what this journey was for. It has left more questions than answers. This process has been incredibly hard, harder than anything that I have been through in my life.
Today, around 3:30 in the afternoon, we had to let go of Thunder into his mother's arms. She is doing much better these days and is on the path to healing. It was so hard to let go of him, the ride home seemed like it took days and I know that I have never cried like that in my life. Thank you to all of you have prayed with and for us.
Today, around 3:30 in the afternoon, we had to let go of Thunder into his mother's arms. She is doing much better these days and is on the path to healing. It was so hard to let go of him, the ride home seemed like it took days and I know that I have never cried like that in my life. Thank you to all of you have prayed with and for us.
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